12 Most Frustrating Queues I Have to Endure
I’ve made it a mission in life to avoid queues (or line-ups as they say in the US). I re-arrange business meetings to avoid traffic. I eat at off-peak hours to avoid busy restaurants. Whatever it takes to maximize the activities between my “wake up” and “go to sleep” times.
Yet, despite my best efforts, there are queues that I just can’t seem to avoid and so here’s my rant on some of the most frustrating queues I have to endure in life.
I love Starbucks. But when I need coffee – I need it now. Starbuck’s coffee queues are made up of people re-engineering coffee at the molecular level. I’ve made it a practice now to purchase a Dunkin Donuts’ coffee to drink while waiting in my local Starbucks for a coffee. I’m convinced Starbucks owns shares in Dunkin’ Donuts and secretly encourages this behaviour. What’s wrong with a plain ‘ole coffee people? Move it along will ya?!
The purpose of an ATM is to get cash. Quickly. So why is it that every person ahead of me at an ATM is there to renegotiate their mortgage or solve Greece’s debt crisis? Just get your money and move it along will ya?!
3. Airport Security
Enough said. [Read 12 Most Annoying Airline Passenger Personalities….and get out of my way!]
4. Fast Food Restaurant
Honestly, why do people wait till they get to the counter to decide what to eat? What the heck were they doing while standing in line for 5 minutes?! They make the menu boards big these days and full of pretty pictures too! Why is it so complicated? And then they have the nerve to ask “how big is a ‘small’”? Seriously? You’re gonna end up with the Big Mac, fries and a diet Coke anyway. Please order combo #1 and move it along will ya?!
5. Technical Support
I’m convinced that the software/technology world has created a “waiting game” where they score points for the length of time they keep callers on hold. There are bonus points earned for the number of minutes added to a call when the caller says: “sorry I don’t understand your accent, can you please repeat that”? There’s even an annual award show in Vegas where golden telephones are given to those businesses whose callers have actually died while “on hold”. Can you please move it along?!
6. Toll Booths
In what language does “Express Pass Only” mean “we’ll accept cash”? It must in American English since I enviably drive up behind someone trying to hand cash to an invisible toll booth operator (this should be a federal crime punishable by 10 years in prison). And if not that person, I’m stuck behind the guy who has to get out of his car and use a metal detector to find the loose change under his seat to pay the toll! Plan ahead, pick the right lane and move it along will ya?!
7. Theme Park
Where else in life do we sheep pay overpriced entry fees to spend hours in a queue for a 1 minute experience? Over and over again. All day long. There are better values for your entertainment dollars folks…move it along.
8. Department of Motor Vehicles.
If I have to describe this one, you’re clearly not from this earth.
9. The Highway’s Passing Lane
Can someone please tell me where in our history the meaning of a “passing lane” on the highway has been replaced with: “This is a Sunday-drive, see-the-sights-while-driving-below-the-speed limit” lane? While the general public has begun to accept the right-most “slow lane” as the fastest lane to drive in, I say: move over to the right or move it along will ya?!
10. Hospital Emergency Room
Sometimes a necessity, the emergency room can be the most frustrating of all queues. While nurses seem to think it normal, I see a real problem with “just being patient” while my protruding broken & exposed leg bone is being sneezed on by a dozen children with a bad colds. While I respect the difficulty of a triage nurse’s job, there has to be a better way? Got a cold? Stay home or please move it along will ya?!
What part of Costco isn’t a queue? You drive around for 30 minutes waiting for a parking spot. Then you travel through the store in slow “walking queues” behind bulk-loving, over-spending housewives only to be shuffled into a 50-person check out queue behind people buying 3-years’ worth of dog food for the Chihuahua in their purse. Move it along will ya?!
12. “Express Lane” at the Grocery Store
I’ve created a habit of shopping for groceries daily simply to avail myself of the “less than 10 items” queue. However, lately it’s been quite common for me to queue up behind someone with 10 items in their basket, who are amazingly “surprised” to find a 11th and 12th item stuffed in their jackets and, wait, yes, a 13th item that mysteriously fell into their hat. Seriously? Stay out of the express lane or move it along will ya?!
[update: Later the police seemed to accept my statement that the coupons were just too much for anyone to take and let me go.]
Life is short people! I’m trying to get the most out of the time I have on this earth and every queue you create or hold up is just another obstacle in my master plan! So please, move it along will ya?!
Featured image courtesy of Danacea licensed via creative commons.