12 Most Disastrous Pick Up Lines
From Dating Game, to Hall of Shame: As part of my research for my new book, I investigated how people connect once they’ve met on an online dating site: refer to my 12 Most Popular Dating Sites. You only have one chance to make a first impression – even if you don’t really do impressions. In this 12most list, find the world’s most disastrous pick up line #fails – what NOT to do when you’re meeting someone for the first time.
Picture yourself in a social setting, and you’d like to meet someone of the opposite sex – or, perhaps a player from the same team. Have you ever been the victim of one of these show-stoppers? If any of these sound familiar, please: get help immediately. The most disarming pickup lines, ever:
1. Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
Try to remember that you shouldn’t open with this one. Didn’t I see this scene on “Days of Our Lives”?
2. I’m feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?
Double Jeopardy: open with your insecurity, follow it with a request for unwanted touching. Outstanding!
3. Excuse me, but I’m new in town, can I have directions to your place?
A great way to indicate that you are totally lost. A great follow-up to this one: “I just arrived with the carnival, and…”
4. I may not be the best looking guy [woman] in here, but hey, I’m the only one talking to you.
Attempting to kill them with compliments? Better get some new ammunition. Goes well with, “I don’t really want to talk to you, but my parole officer says I need to meet new people.”
5. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl [handsome guy] smile. So, would you smile for me?
Hey, this one just might work – you could get a smile before you get dating Fail Whale. Nice!
6. Excuse me. Can I borrow your cell? It is an emergency. My mom told me to give her a call the first time I fell in love.
Triple threat here: (1) blurting (2) introducing your mommy issues (3) double-ridiculous setup: you really don’t have your own cell phone?
7. Can I get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?
Swing, and a miss.
8. Do you have a GPS on your phone? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
What’s with always trying to borrow a cell phone? Where and how does that work, exactly?
9. Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you.
Hopefully it’s faster than the drink that’s coming right towards your face.
10. I think I need to call heaven because they’ve lost one of their angels.
And the follow up to this one is, “Can I borrow your cell…again?” Call your mom, call Jesus, call somebody, because this just isn’t going to end well.
11. You look like my first wife. And I’ve never been married.
The Killshot: talk about marriage in the first 9 seconds.
12. Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
But wait a minute – I thought you said you didn’t have a cell phone?
People want to connect now more than ever, but it’s not easy! Embarassing tweets and sexting are just a couple of ways to quickly shred your dignity. Have you ever delivered a message to a prospective partner that died before it arrived? Or, have you received a one-liner so lame that you still can’t believe it? Comments (and courage!) below….
Photo credit via Flickr Some rights reserved by Pink Sherbet Photography Creative Commons license.
Chris Westfall
Chris Westfall is the national elevator pitch champion, a professional speaker and entrepreneur. He is the author of Five Great New Elevator Pitches. His next book, The NEW Elevator Pitch will be released in Spring 2012. Chris can be reached via email at chris@westfallonline.com. More on his website: http://westfallonline.com
33 comments
@chriswestfall Hilarious - These sound like pick up lines guys would use. Do the ladies actually initiate an intro with any of these "ice breakers"?
@9inchmarketing Stan, that was a fun one, thanks for putting it out here - good times. LOL
1 Like
Nice post Chris. How about another half dozen of 'disastrous' classics. I'm not admitting that I've used any of these:
- If I told you, "You have a beautiful body. Would you hold it against me?"
- Check the tag in his / her shirt and say, "Just checking to see if it said, MADE IN HEAVEN"
- Dip your finger in your drink, touch his / her shirt and say, "Why don't we go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes.
- [Back in the days of pay phones] Do you have a quarter? My Mom told me call her when I found the woman / man of my dreams
- How do you like your eggs for breakfast? Fertilized?
- Get her attention and motion with your pointing finger to walk over. Once she does say, "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with all five."
Best of luck with your upcoming book.
1 Like
Do you remember the old "I may not be that big now, but I'm drinking milk!" commercials? I always liked the pick up line update to that - "I'm not that good looking now, but you're drinking margaritas!"
@helenlevinson hi Helen. Just wanted to see when coffee may work out? Hope you are well.
@9inchmarketing @seanmcginnis "Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see" #truestory
Used on me too! RT @sarahlynnpablo: @9inchmarketing @seanmcginnis "Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see" #truestory
@tedrubin thanks for the laugh! I think I may've tried a few of these back in my single days :)
2 Like
Love it! Here is one that I'll never forget: "Your legs must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all night." ... eeeewwww
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In reality - I have tried exactly 0 of these. I don't even have that much game (sad)
Hilarity Chris - way to lighten up 12 Most
Thanks!
@danielnewmanUV LOL To the contrary, the fact that you havent tried these means youve got game my friend. ;)
Q: How much does a polar bear weigh?
A: Enough to break the ice.
Walks that fine line between clever and stupid but usually gets a smile if done with the proper delivery :)
Ha! Most women I know would laugh, catch themselves at the admirer's crestfallen look, and say "what, you were serious?!" Anyone who thinks these are acceptable ways to strike up a conversation with someone is just...mildly delusional. Whatever happened to "hey, how are you enjoying the music/drinks/club/show/etc.?"
LOL these are so amusing. I know I've heard a pretty good one before. It went something like, "Did you fart? Because you blew me away"
Pick up lines are all jokes. Who actually uses them in all seriousness these days anyway?!
@StephRWong Seriously? Someone used that line on you as a pick-up? Wow, what a schoomzer. :)
@HelenLevinson haha no but I've heard it before for someone else! I'm pretty sure they were joking...or at least I hope they were lol
@StephRWong Ha! I am fascinated by the way we present ourselves online, and then what happens when we meet outside of the matrix. Ever meet someone and you liked their online profile BETTER?
@westfallonline If you like their online profile better, then there's definitely something fishy going on. They've gotta be bluffing about all sorts of things. And then you meet them in person and it's like ...wait a second.. lol
@IsaacBrake Alright fine lol. All I meant was if you loved their online profile and in person they were COMPLETELY different. :)
@StephRWong OR maybe their just a little bit shy and outside of the matrix they're just a bit nervous...C'mon give a guy a break...not that I EVER had a problem like that...just sayin'...lol
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