12 Most Valuable Lessons Learned from a Twitter Invader

12 Most Valuable Lessons Learned from a Twitter Invader

Earlier this week my suspicions were confirmed. A former assistant of mine who was given permission to access my Hootsuite account as a Pro Team Member, continued to have full access to my Twitter account on the Hootsuite mobile application, even though team permission was removed. I believe we should always learn from life experiences. Here is what my Twitter Invader taught me.

1. Up your tech game

I will admit, I am very right brained and therefore excel in creativity and not technical and spatial skills. Issues with technology are the one thing that gets past my Diva Shield. Unfortunately, in this case by allowing my lack of love for the technical side of Social Media, my Diva Shield was unable to protect me from the Twitter Invader.

2. Take responsibility for your own online security

By avoiding the technical side of Social Media, I was also diminishing the importance of security settings, passwords and all issues surrounding the protection of my work. Big mistake. We should ALL use more secure passwords and change them frequently as well as regularly disconnect Twitter accounts from all sources on a regular basis. (more about this later)

3. Be aware that many social sites do not fully disclose

In my situation, I was led to believe that by removing a Hootsuite team member, their access would be denied. What I was not aware of was that the mobile application seems to reset only when the security token is removed via your Twitter application page on Twitter’s main site. For over three months, I had no idea that my Twitter Invader was reading my dm’s, sharing them with others, un-following many of my followers and who knows what else. Had the site simply stated that the security token be removed, I would have done so. I will disclose that Hootsuite denies that this is an issue. However, many top tech followers of mine believe there is a coding issue and a security breech. What do I know for sure? My Hootsuite phone application did not reset when I repeatedly changed all passwords for Twitter and Hootsuite. However, when I removed the security token from my Twitter page, I received a new message on my phone “Token invalid.”  This tells to me that removing the token is the only way to shut down former team members from mobile access on Hootsuite.

4. Be aware of who has access to your twitter account

All applications we sync to our Twitter accounts can access information just as we can as the “owner” of the account. This means they may send tweets as you, follow and unfollow people, edit lists etc. Most sites will say “We will never access your dm’s or send tweets without your permission” that makes us feel secure. Read it again. They say that they will not access your dm’s.  What they do not say is that they can and have full access to use your account. I am not saying this will happen. I am saying that it can.  I recommend that you go to your Twitter account now.  Under settings, go to applications and you will be likely amazed at just how many programs you have given permission to access your account. Do a clean sweep, then change your passwords and start over on a regular basis. It only takes a few seconds to reconnect with the applications you may use regularly. I further recommend that you visit  www.unsubscribe.com immediately. This site will provide you with information as to what sites you linked all your Social Media accounts with, not just Twitter. When I did this, I was simply stunned at the access that I have freely given to so many online applications and websites.

5. Remember that there is no guaranteed privacy online

I speak to my children about this on a regular basis. However, I seem to forget it myself. Never assume your dm’s are private. Ever. Remember, all of the applications alone may read them if they wish. In addition, there are hackers and unknown sources that may access your account as well. Don’t send passwords or intellectual property you consider private.

6. Step out of my need to be altruistic and hire team members who have both personal and professional recommendations

As a successful businesswoman and entrepreneur, I must embrace what that really means. Most businesses would never contract services from a provider without recommendations and a work history of successful performance. My need to help others embrace their magnificence must sadly stay within the confines of my coaching business and not to those whom I contract services with. Those with significant emotional issues and who need my coaching should be clients not team members. We must set standards and guidelines for whom we with partner in business. This is especially true when your only exposure to potential partners and team members is via Social Media platforms. Many who talk the talk do not walk the walk. In fact, if we do our research and due diligence, looking deeper will often show us a great deal. Look at the person’s online history and monitor their tweets for a week. Do you see bitterness, hostility, negativity and abrasive statements? Keep in mind that you are who you tweet with and your brand is as well. Even if you receive glowing recommendations, you should still monitor and be aware that significant emotional issues such as narcissism, impulsivity, rage, anger and personality disorders may be present. I must simply ask myself and so should many of us, “Is that person a potential client or a partner?” For me, this has been eye opening for certain and my process for bringing others into my business has shifted dramatically.

7. Remember that trust is a little word with immeasurable value

In trusting someone who needed a chance, I received a reminder of just how valuable trust is and how destructive it can be when given as a gift to someone who neglects it.

Most dictionaries define the word trust as the firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person. When we trust someone, we often feel that we can share unconditionally without the fear of exposure or negative consequence. When trust is given to freely, the burn is very bad. Why then do some of us trust so easily?

As active members engaging in Social Media, we are often much more willing to be social then the general population. Compared to many we know, we find that we are easily able to connect with others and are gifted with eloquence. Most influencers on Social Media simply know how to work a room and work it well. The downside to this gift of eloquence and un-paralleled social skills is that many high level engagers on Social Media also give their trust to many and do so far too quickly. Remember to set standards for both yourself and your brand. Trust must be something we give only after it is earned via respect, loyalty and friendship.

8. Remember that Social Media is real life

When we engage with others online and form connections, we are experiencing this in real life. Many attempt to separate offline relationships by calling them IRL or In Real Life connections. Think about how you may alter your Social Media relationships if you set the same standards for forming offline relationships as you do online. Offline, we let relationships grow at a slower speed and pace. We never push sales or trust as quickly as many do with relationships on Social Media. Remember to provide  and expect the same value, respect and honesty online that you do off. Had I done so, the Twitter Invader would have never had my trust, respect or friendship. Nor, would I ever have contracted services with this individual.

9. Do as you say and practice what you teach

I often speak to the importance of protecting oneself from toxic relationships. Toxic relationships are ones which drain you of your energy and provide no positive value in your life. I can speak to this for hours, so let me simply state that it  is important to monitor your relationships and avoid toxic ones at all cost.

Surround yourself instead with those who lift you up, support you, encourage you and provide value to your life. I recall the day I looked at a post I had submitted to an online magazine in regard to this very issue. In that moment,  I realized my current Twitter Invader was falling into each bullet point meant to define the toxic relationship. It’s difficult to admit, but I in no way practiced what I preached in my own life. If I had, I would have separated from the relationship prior to damage occurring to my brand and myself. Lesson Learned.

10. Believe this: When your soul whispers you must listen

Intuition is a very valuable gift and one many of us do not embrace. I have learned to listen very quietly when my soul whispers. If we do this, we often find that we really already know the answers to many questions we have. Maya Angelou says it so clearly, ”When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”  Think about it. When someone does something that makes you feel uncomfortable and out of alignment with who you are, what do you do? Do you pay attention? Do you give it thought? Or, do you do what I did with the Twitter Invader? In my case, I saw clear actions that made me uncomfortable. What I did wrong was make excuses for this person and felt sorry for him. You see, I believed in this individual’s ability and felt if I could help build his self worth, his brilliance would shine. What I should have done, was observe and give credit to that initial whisper…something is not right. I am not saying to judge others. I am saying to be smart and not enable poor behavior as I did in this case. I was clearly shown who this person was and I did not listen when my soul whispered to me.

11. Believe that a negative experience creates a teachable moment

I am passionate about becoming better from all situations and never bitter. I am not angry with the Twitter Invader, nor am I his victim. I opened my life emotionally to this situation and I opened my business to a serious security breech. I take full responsibility for my actions and lack of due diligence when bringing a stranger into my life. From this experience, I hope to educate, teach and inspire all of us to move forward with more information and empowerment. Remember, we are never in control of the actions of others. We are however, in control of our reactions.

12. I learned just how brilliant my nest of fabulous on Twitter really is

After taking this experience and creating a teachable moment in my weekly chat #smmanners, I received many reminders from my community and followers that
speak to this 12th most valuable lesson learned from my Twitter Invader. I am valued, I am loved and I am respected. Each day I am surrounded with such
brilliance on twitter that I often feel I should put on my favorite sunglasses. I have the most amazing friends and words alone simply cannot express my
gratitude. I am often in awe as I read positive messages sent to me and the building of relationships taking place. My nest is filled with magnificence and that is one thing the Twitter Invader will never be able to change. You see, love me, leave me, follow me or unfollow….the law of attraction is at work in our lives and in our nests. If you are positive and engaging, you will simply attract the same individuals needed to create your own nest of fabulous. When toxic sneaks in, or the Twitter Invader finds you, know this for sure; the brilliance from a nest of fabulous will either bring out the best in all who have joined you. Or the those uncomfortable with your energy will leave.

Good-bye Twitter Invader, I am swooping back into my nest of fabulous. You are officially tossed from my nest.

What are your thoughts about passwords and social media privacy? Please share your thoughts with me.

Photo credit some rights reserved by Darwin Bell via creative commons.

Dabney Porte

http://www.socialmarketingconcepts.com/

Often called “Ms. Manners of the Social Media Community” Dabney Porte specializes in how to communicate with customers on all social media platforms. There is much uncertainty in the business world in regard to the social norms within social network communities. Dabney removes the guesswork, allowing you to build your brand & online influence. In addition to the properties linked above, you can find Dabney at http://www.socialmediagirlfriends.com/

468 ad
93 comments
anitahovey
anitahovey

WOW...unbelievable. So glad you shared this again today as I'm about to hire extra help and give them access to my Hootsuite Pro!

MarySarahMusic
MarySarahMusic

@brandcottage @DABNEYPORTE PS i'm @MarySarahMusic :) he he

Ciesla504
Ciesla504

YIKES! RT @DabneyPorte @ebonstorm oh no kidding! Have you heard my #twitterinvader story? yikes. http://t.co/gNF6Nd8Z #SmManners

ebonstorm
ebonstorm

@DabneyPorte Sorry to hear that. It is a risk we all take when we work online. Your essay covers it nicely. Good work. #SMmanners

BarbaraDuke
BarbaraDuke

@Dabney Porte I posted on here before. I think I sent you a DM asking you to read. Where did it go? Did you delete it or did the Invader wipe it out. He is probably nervous because I know who he is. I even received posts from @Divacoachdabney. What a weasel. I tried to think it wasn't him, but the more I thought about it, the surer I was. I am so sorry that he has hurt you. Please know that your friends are standing by you and love you very much. I feel so fortunate to have met you and have totally enjoyed your friendship and your tweets. Your chats are awesome.

LOVE YA

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

Please be advised~ Someone (invader?) set up an impostor account page on Twitter called @divacoachdabney which is in no way owned or operated by me, but a complete mirror of my @dabneyporte twitter page. Twitter has suspended the account and looking deeply into this entire situation. However, I notice below that my posts are being signed by @divacoachdabney which is clearly a result of the hacker. The posts below are all mine and should be posted as Dabney Porte. As you can see, and as I will share soon, many deeper attacks have been found since this article was posted. I will share more when I am able as the information is in the hands of my legal team and law enforcement. Thanks for you support! xoxo

geekbabe
geekbabe

All of this speaks to the need for devising an SM industry standard manner by which brands & other important contacts can be sure that when they receive email or other electronic communications from us, that those communications really are from us

natalieharperPR
natalieharperPR

Sorry you went through this experience, but if there is a silver lining in all of this, I believe it is that many MANY others will do more due diligence when it comes to ensuring their online/social properties are more secured. I remember meeting with a security expert about two years ago, and the stories he told me about online security were shocking and scared me away from really harnessing the true social networking power of many sites like Facebook and Twitter. It was only in the last four months that I unlocked my Twitter account to let people in. I started using FourSquare (very limited), but I admit I needed another security CHECK. Again - I'm sorry you experienced this, but I am personally thankful to re-check myself and will be much more diligent going forward. I am confident you have similarly helped thousands and thousands of others too.

nosillies
nosillies

You talk about being all positive and supportive yet you use a public forum to discuss this person's "significant emotional issues" and say other not-so-nice personal things? That's bullying.

And from what I can tell, you're not a doctor, so how do you know this person has emotional issues? Has this person disclosed a diagnosis to you? If so, hinting at personal medical information is another no-no.

You provide good info in this article, but it's lost behind your obvious bitterness and anger. You could have presented these tips in an objective, journalistic manner, but instead, you let your personal feelings get in the way, and you turned your blog into a bully pulpit.

Forget improving your tech skills -- you need to work on yourself first. Hide behind your airy-fairy "girlfriend" and "manners" and "fabulous" language all you want. Your actions speak louder than any of those words. Those who are truly interested in making the world a better place don't stir up drama, they shun it. They don't make public spectacles of private issues.

After watching all this unfold, I'm not buying your persona anymore.

MayDaySays
MayDaySays

@DabneyPorte Your perspective regarding Social Media security is fascinating and most relevant. Internet Security websites abound yet the advice they posit is linear rather than geometric. For example, much security advice directs the focus to password security, malware, adware, viruses, etc without consideration as to the psychological origins of the breach; why does one extend another the "opportunity" for example. I believe we Social Media users often (inappropriately) extend trust as a reflex to the credibility of the written word vs. a verbal exchange. When statements are expressed in the written form, the credibility of said words is more highly regarded. Trust is truly a moral (and unspoken) contract between entities, be they individuals or companies and we rely upon the contract as a method of interaction. Your article is the best I have read on the subject and it speaks highly of your character that you could turn an unfortunate and damaging circumstance into an eloquently expressed "learning moment" for your audience. You are fabulous!

mswaichingliu81
mswaichingliu81

@jaycbee people need to watch what they say on twitter, but also be wary that if one feels harassed, abused they should block and report.

cammipham
cammipham

The 12 most valuable lessons learned from the #twitterinvader bit.ly/ohXzRm by @dabneyporte #mustread valuable lesson

lori sica
lori sica

Once again, you enlighten and inform. Your ability to communicate is so amazing. I learn from you daily. It saddens me greatly that you were compromised as your heart is so big and so giving. I look forward to your weekly chats and have learned to engage globally from my cozy little nest right here in NJ. As always, I know this will not take you out,but rather make you stronger better and wiser. Thank you again for not just what you do, but who you are :) #smgirlfriends #smmanners #slumberparty

JustinIiams
JustinIiams

@DabneyPorte You have always been a rock star in my mind. I respect you 110% and after reading this, I respect you so much more. You could have easily taken this person and had your way with them. Instead, you chose to be "better, not bitter". You are a far bigger person than I am. I would have had a full fledged knock down drag out fight online. But, that's what #SMmanners has been able to teach me. There are times and places for everything. You are being the bigger person by taking it offline than doing it online.

You know I've always been a HUGE fan. I will continue to be one of your biggest fans. You are Fabulous beyond words and beyond measure. You are the rock star of Social Media to me.

I hear the song by Pdiddy playing in my head when thinking of you... "Can't nobody take my pride, Can't nobody hold me down, oh no".

Keep Rocking Dabney. We got your back :)

LindaCarmical
LindaCarmical

Thank you for such an informative and heartfelt post. I agree with all 11 points and love your "lesson learned #12" summation. It's amazing what one person can cause, how disruptive they can make your life. I'm happy you finally came to your senses about the Twitter Invader and accepted what your instinct was telling you.

Thanks for the reminder about checking all that has access to "my social media world". I'll be doing a clean up right away.

westfallonline
westfallonline

Great post, @DabneyPorte ! 7 & 11 come to my mind as real standouts. What is more important than trusting another person - and trusting your gut? A great cautionary tale, and I am sorry for what you had to go through. But your experience made a difference for me, and (it looks like from the comments below) a lot of other people, too. The saddest part of your story? The clown who thought it would be cool to stick around and hack your account. What a piece of work.

Latest blog post: Seminar Survey

liveotherwise
liveotherwise

One of my most shared posts recently was one about twitter hacking and the need to remove applications. It's amazing to think that so many ppl don't really understand how they work, and while you have learnt a painful personal and technological lessons it only reflects positively on you that you choose to share your learning so honestly and openly with everyone else.

brandcottage
brandcottage

@marysarahmusic love you! My daughter is Sarah so subconscious tweeting.

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@BarbaraDuke I never saw a comment from you before now. Some have been removed and yes, it seems my account here via livefyre was hacked as well. Thanks for your LOVE...you are beyond amazing! xoxo

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@divacoachdabney@dabneyporte@divacoachdabney Ok...all fixed.

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@geekbabe I agree Jean. I am working on many media avenues for doing just that. The word must get out and this situation will teach many much. Thanks for being so magnificent! xoxo

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@natalieharperPR Thank you so much Natalle! I really do believe that any negative experience can become a teachable moment. Stop in #smgirlfriends on Twitter it is a place where women come together to laugh, love and support! xoxo

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@nosillies Hi and thanks for stopping by. I am so sorry you feel this way. I sense great anger from you and if I ignited such, I in no way meant to.

I have over 20 years experience in working with mentally ill individuals. I in no way state that I diagnose this person, but that I do have great concerns. It is my opinion that the behavior of this person is indicative of very significant emotional issues. For one to become so enraged after a professional separation is concerning at best.

It appears that this person has used my account for four months to impersonate me, seek out my private information and to have apparent dialog with others using my avatar and voice via sending dm's to many. There are legally binding statements, screen shots of evidence that such acts occurred and were performed by this person. In addition there is significant evidence that this stalking/invasive behavior was done in attempts to harm my business and brand.

This person was provided with a cease and desist order last week and I will continue to pursue both criminal and civil justice. To speak out in regard to this matter is my right. To wish to promote education and empowerment is my passion. If you see this as drama, that is really in my opinion, about you...not me.

You say I am hiding behind my airy-fairy 'girlfriend' and 'manners' and 'fabulous' language'" You could not be more wrong. I am who I really am. I am not bitter and surprisingly I am not angry. I am however sad. I am sad that some individuals and it seem mostly women, are so uncomfortable with walking in their magnificence. Do you feel it is appropriate to attack me with your bitterness and hostility for attempting to educate my community about a criminal who lurks among us and the importance of advocating for legal resolution?

I am not a bully. I have yet to mention this person's true identity as I do not wish to pursue a social lashing but a legal one. I wish to warn people that this person could be anyone and we should all be careful. I wish someone had warned me. The legal issues and filings will all be public record soon. His criminal "rap" sheet is available to all of us now. Had I checked records, I would have known enough to never go near this person.

To your words I gain strength. You have shown me that I in fact, have much more work to do in the field that I am. I must set more goals to address that many would prefer to not bring justice to their lives in fear of individuals like you. I am stronger then you know, and you have targeted the wrong person. However, if I were not strong your bully like words to me, may have led me to shy away in fear of further scrutiny. My voice will continue to be heard. I will continue to educate all from my experience and in time all will know who this person is. The law does not protect the world from the criminal as you are asking me to do.

I will continue to be fabulous and my communities will continue to love, respect and support me. Thanks again for reminding me of the important work I have to do! I will send you Diva Dust so you may sparkle and soar.

xoxo

Dabney

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@MayDaySays@DabneyPorte I wanted to thank you again for all you do to support my work. It is women like you who inspired us to start the community Social Media Girlfriends. I value you more then you know. My work continues as I continue to work with my legal team on this serious matter and educate my community. It is amazing and stunning how many people are not aware of how easily one can get in your account and tweet as YOU. This person actually sent harsh and malicious DM's to those I respect via DM to support his platform that I am a horrible person and I never knew it was going on. This has broken my heart, as I do know that the individuals telling me such facts, were hurt and bewildered as to how I could be so "mean" to them via Dm's. My concern and question is how many wonderful people are not engaging with me any longer as a result of being victimized by my impostor? How many did I hurt when it was not me speaking? I feel so violated and invaded. The more I learn...the more I am frightened for those still engaging with this person who lurks among us....

xoxo

Dabney

DabneyPorte
DabneyPorte

@cammipham Thanks for the rt. I am hoping we all can learn from this. The plot deepens each day. Seriously disturbing.

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@lori sica Sorry it has taken me long to respond here...but as I tell you often on Twitter, I adore you. Your energy is contagious and I love being surrounded by friends like you. Yes...I have become wiser and I have realized what Pooh Bear always tells us...I am braver then I think and stronger then I know. My work continues and I value your support. Let's spread the word and remind many of how careful and alert we must be as we engage in Social Media! xoxo

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@lori sica Thanks so much Lori. Your words mean so much! I love that your nest is in NJ...Mine is in Maryland....we must swoop out soon and meet offline! xoxo

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@JustinIiams@DabneyPorte Thank you so much Justin. YOU are one of my favorite #BoysOnTwitter. Your brilliance and friendship over the past year is something I value....and it is hard to believe that we have never met offline. Thank you for accepting my gift of trust and putting a value on it and holding it close. I love working with you Social Media expertise and the vision we share and partnerships we have formed have produced amazing result. All on Social Media should know just who you are. Thanks for everything...there are simply now words to describe my gratitude. xoxo

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@JustinIiams@DabneyPorte I smile @JustinIiams as I read your words...you have become such an important person in my life. We have never met offline yet you and I and what we have is absolutely in real life! Thanks for supporting me and understanding the value that I am trying to bring from my experience, rather then the toxic I could surround our community with. I will continue to speak of my experience online as an avenue to teach and help others to learn from my mistakes. Offline, you can be certain that I am in fact pursuing justice. When this offline process is over, I will teach lessons from this as well. We really do have many, many rights and in this case, many laws have been broken and damages have been incurred. I will never be a doormat...I will always advocate for my rights and the rights that we all have, especially on social media. Empowerment rocks, you rock and roll and mean the world to me. xoxo

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@LindaCarmical Hi Linda and thanks so much for taking the time to show me your support! I can't wait to hear what you find in your clean up! Be sure to go to www.unsubscribe.com I was amazed! xoxo

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@westfallonline@DabneyPorte Hi there and thanks so much for your comment. It is a telling tale for sure and the damage has been great to my biz, brand and credibility. Just think of what someone can do when they have access to your account. They can send tweets and dm's, follow AND un-follow, edit my lists that I have created over 3 years etc....and he has done all of that to my account. Beyond what he has done to me, many of my loyal followers have expressed how upset they were when I un-followed them. They felt betrayed by me and confused...wondering why I would turn on them. This has been an epic learning experience for me and I am glad to see many are learning as I do. Thanks again for your support! xoxo

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@liveotherwise Wow...I wish I had seen your post. Can you share it here for all of us to see? I agree with you...it is amazing how many of us do not take the time to learn and understand the tech side of our safety. Thanks so much for being such a wonderful friend and for taking the time to post here. I look forward to seeing your post. xoxo

cammipham
cammipham

@dabneyporte yeah it is a good lesson. I will need to look at security for all my account too

JustinIiams
JustinIiams

@nosillies Good God. You're cowardice in not giving out your real name makes me throw up in my mouth.

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@nosillies Interesting. For many it radiates a positive feeling. I hope you get some clarity soon and are able to let go of such bitter feeling towards me. Your inability to not speak as who you really are and "hide" behind a "non-name" comment tells me you are insecure and unable to really value your own opinions. Perhaps you need to value yourself more and increase your self worth. If you loath me..own it as you. It is ok. I hope you are able to find love of who you really are. It is my wish for everyone. At this time, I would ask that you express yourself in a kinder manner. You are bringing unwanted toxic energy to this otherwise teachable moment. Please respect our community here. Thank you in advance.

Dabney Porte
Dabney Porte

@liveotherwise LOVE it. In my case the invader did not send spam...he actually sent rude and harsh dm's to many of my connections in an attempt to build his defamation platform. Each day I hear from individuals who have been bewildered and hurt by my un-following, un-listing and speaking rudely via dm to them. I would never do such things and am simply shocked at the efforts this stalker/bully has taken in attempts to destroy my brand and credibility. Thanks for your support and for sharing your article. You are fabulous! xoxo

Trackbacks

  1. […] the past few months, there have been some developments on social media and in my own businesses that have revealed a loop hole on Twitter where entrepreneurs can […]

  2. […] As it stands now the FBI, local cyber crimes unit and multiple lawyers and institutions are involved. This brings to light a very important issue. How safe are we online and who is protecting us? Where do you go when this happens? What do you do? I am very proud that my friend spoke out and spoke up. You can read some of her suggestions here. […]

  3. […] applaud Dabney Porte for telling the story about her online invasion and being classy enough to never name names and trying to go straight to a […]

  4. … [Trackback]…

    […] Read More here: 12most.com/2011/08/10/12-valuable-lessons-learned-twitter-invader-2/ […]…

Adsense