12 Most Hilarious, Awful, and Real Personalities You’ll Encounter at the Gym

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Working out is a Lifestyle choice. It is something that you do either sporadically as a hobby or perhaps daily. Usually this is done with the goal of staying fit, losing weight, feeling good, or perhaps you are some type of masochist that enjoys “The Burn.”

Fitness is a bit of a culture in itself, a community, a family of sorts, and perhaps a place to find some fun and funny characters. For those of you that are regulars at the gym you may begin to get to know those that have a similar routine to you (at least as far as your time arriving at the gym), and the longer you stay at one workout facility, the more you get to know others there. And over time you may start to see some funny things.

As a person who regularly finds his way to the gym at a similar time I have seen so many interesting things, some of which are quite funny. With you, I want to share 12 of them. Therefore I present you with the 12 Most Hilarious and Real “At the Gym” Personalities that you will encounter.

1. The Poser:

This person spends more time In the mirror checking themselves out then they do lifting weights or running. A regular Arnold they may think? Usually a regular provider of a laugh. By the way, that cut off tee is not helping you out!

2. The Chatter:

This particular person never actually works out, they peruse the gym, machine to machine and they talk up anyone and everyone. They don’t even know you but they think they are your best friend. How is the wife, the kids, the dog? Um I’m single without kids, but my cat is okay?

3. The Duffle Bagger:

This is usually a guy, but isn’t limited to only men. This gym rat carries a bag around the gym that holds enough for a week stay in the wilderness. They have tape, grips, wraps, belts, and of course a giant container of protein. Ironicalliy, this person rarely has clean clothes and is rewearing the same outfit that has been in that bag, in their trunk for a month straight (or longer).

4. The Walking Billboard:

From the time they pull in you can see the rear window bumper sticker with the Under Armour logo. Perhaps even an “UndArmr license plate on their car? They get out of the car in the newest gear. From their socks to their visor everything has a logo. It is the same logo and they are in perfect harmony. This person isn’t being paid to advertise, but don’t tell them that.

5. The Mobile Employee:

This person is skipping out of the home office a bit early to get their sweat on! Only, they went during a conference call and they decided to take it at the gym. They walk around the weight room on the phone, not working out, but speaking loudly. They want everyone to know their job is important, and that they are getting it done. As long as working out isn’t the goal, they are making it happen!

6. The Groundhog Day:

This person can be timed to the minute doing the exact same workout everyday. Yes to the minute. Funny thing is they have been doing it for 2 years and they look the same. Things that make you go hmmmm?

7. The Grunter:

We all know this guy (yes always a guy) This meathead makes an obscene amount of noise with every rep. It doesn’t matter whether they are lifting light or heavy. This guy is working out and he wants the world to know!

8. The Human Water Fountain:

This particular individual has what we like to call a little bit of a “Sweating Problem.” Obviously we are at a gym and people are going to sweat. But this person sweats profusely and literally leaves an imprint on every machine they use. This is often magnified by their failure to bring and/or use a towel to wipe down the equipment after they use it.

9. The Stalker:

Usually a guy (but not always) – this health club patron follows the pretty ladies (handsome men) around and works out next to them. They will go from the bench press, to the treadmill to the yoga room if it keeps them near their prey. These folks are just plain creepy, and they are causing an epidemic of cancelled gym memberships worldwide.

10. The Naked Person:

This is just awful and horrifying locker room behavior, but this person gratuitously walks around the locker room butt naked and proud. Often they shouldn’t be. To make matters worse, they want to have a conversation with you, and they are almost always close talkers. Even writing this is making me incredibly uncomfortable. This may be the #1 sales tool for home gyms worldwide.

11. The Legend:

You can count on one of these as well. This person will tell you about their legendary lifts and when they had a perfect six pack. They owned the gym, were former Weider spokespeople and they just happened to be away from fitness for a while since they were so burned out from the stress of diet and intense exercise. With just one look at their mediocrity you will know that they are telling a whopper!

12. The One (or Two) Size Too Small:

You know it when you see it (wishing you hadn’t). This person wears their gym clothes way too small and it is like a train wreck. Every cut and crevice (Role and Stretch Mark) of their self imagined chiseled physique is clearly recognizable. This is not for the faint of heart. LOOK AWAY!!!

These are 12 personalities that can make a visit to the gym both hilarious, entertaining, and awful all at the same time. Have you met these people at your gym yet? Perhaps you have been so lucky. If you haven’t, trust me when I say they are there…You just have to watch for them!

Photo courtesy of amagill. Some rights reserved; used under creative commons license.