12 Most Ridiculous Excuses For Missing Class
If you’re a supervisor for any period of time, you’re likely to hear a ton of excuses for why people don’t fulfill their roles.
There are excuses for missing work, meetings and deadlines. They come in all varieties, from legitimate to less than believable. And, of course, everybody’s got one.
When you’re a student, your full-time job is attending classes, whether you admit it or not. You’re probably also too young to realize that your excuses are overused and you aren’t that great at lying. Trust me, as a university professor, I’ve heard them all.
1. I Overslept
Just because you can’t wake up without your Mom’s help doesn’t mean I’m going to reteach an hour’s worth of material. Perhaps you can cry to your Mom about how mean I am.
2. My Dog Died
I love my dog. She is a calming and loyal part of my life. I would be sad if anything happened to my little companion, but I would still be there to teach my classes. The death of a non-human thing is not an excuse for your absence. Speaking of…
3. My Grandmother Died… Again
You can only have so many grandmothers who go to be with the Lord during a single academic year. If your grandma were anything like mine, she’d give you a piece of her mind for using her death as a lame excuse. If she’s not dead, shame on you for putting her in the grave.
4. I Have My (insert unpleasant feminine issue here)
Seriously? Every woman on the earth could use this excuse at one time or another. You know what we do instead? We pop some Midol, suck it up and get on with our responsibilities. I suggest you do the same.
5. I Was Working On My Paper For Another class
Nothing makes professors angrier than hearing that you think another class is more important than theirs. Schedule your time appropriately.
6. We Had Class Today?
Yes! We’ve had class at 9 a.m. Monday, Wednesday and Friday for three months. Why would we randomly not have it today? Just because you didn’t feel like showing up doesn’t mean that class was canceled.
7. I Had To Appear At A University Event
I support my university, but I disagree with missing classes to make university appearances. It seems too frequent that these are the students who need to be in class most. Students, students, you’re all pretty, now get to class!
8. My Car Broke Down
I love it when the car breaks down and suddenly that crazy smart phone you can’t put down during my class can’t send an email, text or make a phone call. I assume at some point your car began working again to drive you to tonight’s big party.
9. I Had To Work
Really? I had to work too. My job is teaching you, which I cannot do if you’re not here. I hope they’re paying you well at Taco Hut. By the way, do they have good benefits for when you’re 40 and work your way up to manager?
10. My Brothers/Sisters Needed Me At The House
This sounds like a childcare issue, but these students aren’t referring to younger siblings. They’re talking about their fraternity brothers or sorority sisters. I was Greek in college so I know for certain – there is nothing important enough going on in the house that can’t wait until class ends. Trust me here.
11. I Have An Appointment
Yes, you do. You have a standing semester-long appointment with me. Schedule your doctor, dentist, repairman, hairdresser, mechanic, spiritual adviser, parole officer, or whomever around your commitments in my class.
12. No Excuse
This may be my favorite of all. You walk into class like you never missed a thing, then you act shocked when you don’t understand the material. You may even do something really stupid like walk up after class and say, “I was absent. I didn’t miss anything, did I?” No, evil genius, you obviously know exactly what’s going on. In fact, when we realized that you weren’t here, we just sat perplexed about how to go on without you. I’m sure you’ll be fine on the final exam.
These are the lamest so far, but with each academic year comes new opportunities for stupidity. Even the guy who couldn’t come to class because he was in jail had a more legitimate excuse than some of these. I mean, he really couldn’t come to class. Neither could my husband’s employee who called in sick after dropping a TV on his penis. You think you have problems, right?
What about you? What’s the worst excuse you’ve ever received from someone who missed a commitment?
Featured image courtesy of mikebaird licensed via creative commons.