12 Most Fundamental Differences Between Men & Women – Part One
When 12Most was first envisioned, the idea was to do a 50-Best list site. Thankfully, for us writers, they brought that down to an even dozen. But, for this post we might have preferred 500 or more, as the number of differences between the sexes is vast. Note that I used the word, “Sexes,” rather than gender. I hate the word, “Gender” almost as much as I hate being Politically Correct. Fair warning!
Please note that this man loves and respects women so this column is not anti-woman at all! What it is, from this one father and husband, is my honest look at our differences with the only guiding principle being the truth, plus a touch of humor. We also recognize that no single writer could possibly hope to tackle this subject alone, so we will be offering you the opportunity to contribute to “Part Two.” Read how at the end of this article.
I am going to alternate men and women, so there will be equality with six differences each. Men go first, of course, because we’re more important and women should be following behind us anyway. Now, that is my sense of humor. Get over any indignation you may be feeling right now! Trust me, in my house, my wife is the boss and I just pay (some of) the bills. Oh, and one more thing. Seriously. Every generality or even stereotype has its exceptions so I declare here and now that any given item on this list will not apply to every man or woman.
1. Men Like to Look at Women
There’s a reason there are more “Men’s” magazines with scantily clad or naked women than the equivalent for women. Men like to look, enjoy variety, and are made to procreate. We control that instinct for the betterment of family. Women like to nurture and care much more about what is inside. Sorry, that’s the truth!
2. Women Like Funny Men
What is #1 (or #2) for women on their list of most important attributes for a man? Sense of humor. You make ‘em laugh, you have a chance. Not funny, not gonna get a second chance!
3. Men Could Make Love to a Shoe
Hmmm, I declared that I wouldn’t bash women, but it’s beginning to feel like I’m bashing my own kind! Yes, men can “make love” to a shoe. Pathetic, isn’t it?
4. Women Buy Shoes, But Only Like To Make Love With A Human Being
Every book like “The Game” and its ilk advise men that the best way to get a woman is by listening, paying attention, being funny, being smart, and not by being your natural self – a slug. Women have discretion. They have taste. They like to talk!
5. Men Think Certain “Bodily Functions” Should be Shared and Appreciated by All
Men will actually have contests related to bodily functions. You can use your imagination. We want this site to remain no worse than PG-13. My boys and I congratulate each other for a particularly good B or F. You can fill in the blanks.
6. Women Largely Believe Previously Mentioned “Bodily Functions” Are Private
Ever wonder WHY women go to the bathroom in pairs? And, spend 20 minutes there? So do I! But, whatever it is they’re doing there, it’s behind closed doors. Perhaps they’re as gross as we are, but I doubt it.
7. Men Would Prefer to Eat With Their Fingers and Wipe Their Hands on Their Shirt
What is a napkin anyway, but a waste of paper? We men are especially environmentally conscious and therefore would prefer not to waste natural resources like paper, linen, and various metals. What’s wrong with our fingers, our mouths, and our shirts?
8. Women Like White Wine
Women would still drink Shirley Temples if they were called “Angelina’s” or the equivalent. Ugh. Sweet drinks: those horrible concoctions with a little umbrella and maraschino cherry in them. Oh, and yes, white wine. Just a glass. I’m on a diet.
9. Men Show Other Men Love By Putting Each Other Down
“Hey Bruce, you sure are ugly!”
“I’m ugly? You’re fatter than a pig!”
“Great to see you Bruce!”
“You too, man, let’s watch the game”
10. Women Actually Talk to Their Women Friends
Women stay friends for decades. They meet for coffee and talk. They exchange e-mails that are more than a few sentences. Texting or grunting at one another isn’t a relationship to women.
11. Men Watch Sports and Action Movies
We used to like Arnold. We still like Bond, James Bond whoever plays him. A man hitting other men is good. Boxing. Football. Ice Hockey. The more blood the better…oh, I’m referring to movies, now.
12. Women Watch Lifetime/Ellen/The View and like Nancy Myers Movies
Can we talk about our feelings just a bit more, please? Yeah, women like to talk about their feelings. That’s why they watch those female-hosted daytime shows like the late Oprah, The View (men, we can all throw-up now), Ellen, and Dr. Phil. Yeah, he’s really a woman. As for movies, have you EVER known anyone with a house as perfect as every character’s house in a Nancy Myers movie?
See? There’s no way this list is close to complete! So, we invite your help and participation. For Part Two of this indefinite and limitless 12Most series, we will choose the 12 best submissions from our readers, six for Men and six for Women. Each “Winner” will get credited and we’ll post your Twitter handle, e-mail, and URL, as you choose. Each “Winner” will also receive a copy of my book, “A Dad’s Point-of-View: We Are Half the Equation.”
Just leave your submission (no limit) in the comments section below and you’ll be notified if you’ve won. We’ll then ask for your contact information and particulars you’d like included for when we publish the 12 Most Fundamental Difference Between Men & Women, Part Two. Submission deadline is Noon (USA – Central Time) Friday October 7th, 2011.