12 Most Honest LinkedIn Profile Descriptors

12 Most Honest LinkedIn Profile Descriptors

In my post featuring the 12 Most Meaningless LinkedIn Profile Descriptors, I shared some of the more common buzz words people use to describe their professional qualities. The words we think managers want to hear; the words that we think will convince employers that we’re smarter and more productive than we are.

And while these buzz-words might be an accepted form of self-marketing who are we really kidding? The truth comes out soon enough. If upon your first performance review, your manager could go back and rewrite your LinkedIn profile, what would she write? Would she use the same descriptors that you did? I suspect they would be a lot more honest that you were. So let’s role play for a moment and rewrite them now.

These are the 12 most honest profile descriptors of employees… if written honestly… by their managers.

1. I talk VERY loudly on the phone

2. I add 10 minutes to every break

3. I heat leftover fish in the lunchroom microwave

4. I gossip about everyone

5. I steal office supplies

6. Half my work day is spent on Farmville

7. I take credit for other people’s ideas

8. I only know half of what I claim

9. My references are really my Mom and Dad

10. I populate everyone’s email folder with jokes and kittens

11. Julia Roberts guesting on The View requires a “sick-day”

12. I turn into a promiscuous drunk at office Christmas parties

These buzz words are the equivalent of a first date. You put on your nicest outfit including your “good underwear”, brush your teeth twice and ensure you’re on your best behavior to make that good impression. Then six weeks into the relationship, you’re back to sweat pants, your “comfortable underwear” and farting in bed.

Are you a manager? How would you rewrite your staff’s LinkedIn profile descriptors?

If you liked this article, please give it a thumbs up  in Stumbleupon. Thanks!

Featured image courtesy of mariosundar licensed via Creative Commons.

Sam Fiorella


Sam Fiorella is a globetrotting interactive marketing strategist who has earned his stripes over the past 20 years in senior management roles with corporate sales &marketing teams as well as consulting for more than 30 marketing agencies. Sam’s experience with over 1600 Interactive projects during the past 15 years spans the government, finance & insurance, manufacturing, national retail and travel/tourism sectors. Currently, Sam is the Chief Strategy Sensei at Sensei Marketing, where he is charged with strategic campaign guidance and marketing technology development that power the Sensei Customer Lifecycle Methodology. Sam is a respected blogger and popular keynote speaker on marketing, branding and social media communications having presented at more than 200 conferences in the past 2 years. Follow Sam on Twitter or Connect with him on LinkedIn.

468 ad