12 Most Honest LinkedIn Profile Descriptors
In my post featuring the 12 Most Meaningless LinkedIn Profile Descriptors, I shared some of the more common buzz words people use to describe their professional qualities. The words we think managers want to hear; the words that we think will convince employers that we’re smarter and more productive than we are.
And while these buzz-words might be an accepted form of self-marketing who are we really kidding? The truth comes out soon enough. If upon your first performance review, your manager could go back and rewrite your LinkedIn profile, what would she write? Would she use the same descriptors that you did? I suspect they would be a lot more honest that you were. So let’s role play for a moment and rewrite them now.
These are the 12 most honest profile descriptors of employees… if written honestly… by their managers.
1. I talk VERY loudly on the phone
2. I add 10 minutes to every break
3. I heat leftover fish in the lunchroom microwave
4. I gossip about everyone
5. I steal office supplies
6. Half my work day is spent on Farmville
7. I take credit for other people’s ideas
8. I only know half of what I claim
9. My references are really my Mom and Dad
10. I populate everyone’s email folder with jokes and kittens
11. Julia Roberts guesting on The View requires a “sick-day”
12. I turn into a promiscuous drunk at office Christmas parties
These buzz words are the equivalent of a first date. You put on your nicest outfit including your “good underwear”, brush your teeth twice and ensure you’re on your best behavior to make that good impression. Then six weeks into the relationship, you’re back to sweat pants, your “comfortable underwear” and farting in bed.
Are you a manager? How would you rewrite your staff’s LinkedIn profile descriptors?
If you liked this article, please give it a thumbs up in Stumbleupon. Thanks!
Featured image courtesy of mariosundar licensed via Creative Commons.