12 Most Predictably Entertaining Things about the Oscars
Every year, around the world, people watch the Oscars with great anticipation; and every year, there’s sure to be a few moments that make us smile and laugh, a moment or two that touches our hearts, and many, many moments of utter boredom, right in the middle, around the art direction/animated short/makeup awards.
There’s no point in handicapping the race, since the winners have become fairly easy to predict, so I’d like to focus on the other things — the ones that make watching the show so much fun!
1. Ryan Seacrest will charm everyone
He is the perfect foil for every star, big or small. He treats them all with the same kind of awestruck respect that we all hope we would get if we ever came face to face with our favorite celebrity. Ryan Seacrest speaks for all of us as he greets the arriving luminaries on the red carpet.
Photo courtesy of contactmusic.com
2. Billy Crystal is back
Once you get past the scary plastic surgery, he’s still a funny, funny man. He’ll be great as always — a real class act. But I still say, bring back Steve Martin!
Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
3. George Clooney will look gorgeous
He is truly the biggest movie star in the world. Others may be better actors, some may be better looking, but no one has been this awesome since Jack Nicholson in his heyday. And the best part about Clooney is he seems like a really nice guy.
Photo Credit: Paulo Filgueiras
4. Angelina Jolie will stun us with her beauty
Just like Clooney, her movie stardom-ness is unequaled. Glamorous, gorgeous, always impeccably dressed — she never slips up. Now if only she would smile…
5. Someone will be wearing something hideous
And we will all shake our collective heads and wonder “how could you leave the house like that?” And then, we will all secretly feel a bit of schadenfreude that someone beautiful, rich and famous could look that awful.
6. Some of the jokes will be extremely funny — and some of them won’t
Backstage at the Oscar ceremony, the writers are feverishly trying to create jokes even as the presenters are speaking. They try to capitalize on any gaffes, any successful adlibs, and eliminate lines that they don’t think will work at that moment. Can you imagine the pressure? So even if only a few jokes are truly funny, it’s still pretty impressive. This is a big, big show.
7. Someone will thank God, and someone will thank their mom, and someone will tell their kids to go to bed
How all-American can you get? And yet, it still can make you smile when you see an Oscar winner blowing kisses to his or her children at home. And honestly, wouldn’t you thank your mom?
8. Many people will be played off stage by the “you’re time is up” music
You know, you’d think the winners would know to pace themselves. You’d think they’d have rehearsed their speeches and know how long they can go. But I think, when they get up there, it’s just so thrilling, so overwhelming, that they just can’t help themselves. There’s something so sad about that second winner, the music playing, his or her speech left unsaid.
9. The camera will capture a nominee who didn’t win looking annoyed
Bill Murray, losing the Best Actor award for his role in “Lost in Translation,” 2004.
It seems like such a nasty thing to do — have the camera on the nominees so they have to feign excitement and happiness for the winner, even as they’re stunned by the loss (and they are losing in front of millions of people, don’t forget). But that’s part of the deal — all the attention, all the accolades, lead to this moment and guess what? Only one person wins.
10. The movie you think will win, will win
Best picture winner, 2011
There’s not much guesswork in watching and predicting the Oscar winners anymore. So much information is shared with the general population that anyone with a few hours and the internet can pretty much figure out who will win what. Of course, there’s bound to be a surprise or two, but not for Best Picture.
11. Someone in the memorial segment will surprise you
“What? He died? I didn’t know he died. When did he die? Oh my gosh, that’s so sad.”
12. The most fun of all will be watching Joan Rivers Fashion Police skewer the clothes
Maybe the producers should hire Joan to write for the show!
Photo courtesy of E! Entertainment Network
So grab your popcorn, snuggle up on the sofa and enjoy the spectacle of the 2012 Academy Awards. It’s Hollywood magic at its finest.
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Featured image courtesy of yvernfm via Creative Commons.