12 Most Atrocious Father’s Day Gifts Not to Buy or Give
Not to be callous and uncaring, because any great father’s gift is typically given in love, but there are some atrocious things you should never buy or give your father, grandfather, or other significant man in your life who is also a dad.
If you want to avoid the forced smile and the “Gee, thanks, honey, you shouldn’t have (really)!” remarks or heartbreak that inevitably follow the delivery of an awful present, stay away from doling out these not-so-delightful treats on Father’s Day.
1. Divorce papers
This should go without saying, and this tops the chart at the #1 most atrocious gift you can give a dad. Even if you totally despise your spouse at this point in your marriage, at least wait a couple days after his special day to tell him you want to end your marriage. To do so on Father’s Day is just dirty.
2. The dreaded necktie
Men don’t mind neckties, but none of them want to receive a necktie on Father’s Day. This shows the ultimate lack of thoughtfulness and creativity when picking out a gift for your special dad, and I bet if you took a peek in the closet, you’ll see he already has plenty to choose from already.
3. Anything that says “World’s Best….”
The father in question probably has tee shirts, ball caps, and other sundry items saying the same thing, so this just falls into the “lame gift” category.
Even if they are exquisitely made, there are fewer gifts more boring and thoughtless than a pack of man hankies. Save that kind of thing as a stocking-stuffer during the holidays.
5. Sports apparel for a team he hates
There are many men who take their sports very seriously, and if you buy the fathers in your life apparel for teams they oppose, they will hate the gift and never, ever wear it. Plus, they’ll probably have hurt feelings, because they think you should know them better than that.
6. Imitation cologne
Most women have their preferred fragrances and don’t believe for a second most men aren’t just as picky. If you simply have to buy a cologne for Father’s Day, make sure it’s the kind he loves to wear and NEVER an imitation cologne. Buying imitation cologne is almost like saying “You’re an imitation dad.” You can do better than that.
7. Underwear and socks
This is not Father’s Day gift material; this is something you buy for the men in your life when in need of them at other random times of the year. Better yet? You can let them be “big boys” and pick out their own undies and socks when they need them. This is also possibly only a slightly less boring gift than the dreaded necktie.
8. Slimming shirts for men
Ladies, you wouldn’t want your hubby to give you a pack of Spanx for Mother’s Day, so don’t think he wants slimming shirts for Father’s Day. This is a day for him to indulge, enjoy, and not obsess about a little extra pudge.
9. Sex for Dummies (yes, this is an actual book)
I don’t think I even need to say a thing about why this is a totally atrocious and inappropriate gift. If you’re having issues in the boudoir, a day for father’s celebrating their fatherhood is not the right time to broach this.
10. Pink dress shirts
Unless the fathers in your life have expressed a proclivity for pink (as in actively wears them and likes them), buy a nice dress shirt in any other color.
11. Unsigned cards
Cards with beautiful poems and such are a heartfelt way to show the dads in your life how much you love them, but if you don’t take the time to sign them or add a little personalization, you might as well have left it on the store shelf. How hard is it to spend 5 minutes writing a sincere thanks to the dad? After all, you wouldn’t be here without his help.
12. Nose trimmer
Even if the dad you’re buying for has nose tentacles rivaling that of an octopus, it is NOT appropriate to buy a nose trimmer for him for Father’s Day. As a matter of fact, steer clear of buying any other personal hygiene items. Those are not gifts; those are necessities to be bought with your normal household shopping.
That wraps up my 12 most atrocious gifts for Father’s Day, but what you add to the list? Tell me in the comments!
Featured image courtesy of jaybergesen via Creative Commons.