12 Most Rehumanizing Ways to Reword Dehumanizing Business Jargon
Can you tap a resource to execute the next project? Make sure you get it on their radar screen and really sweat the asset to get it done.
Business jargon is somewhat incomprehensible but always dehumanizing, demoralizing and demotivating. In offices all across the United States, we hear these phrases uttered at a constant pace. They make employees feel less than human and like a replaceable part in the massive corporate machine. However, it is simple enough to rehumanize that dehumanizing business jargon.
1. Resource
One of the most dehumanizing words in corporate jargon is resource. It can refer to a copy machine, paper clip or a person. If the resource being referred to breathes air, talks and has a name, it is best NOT to use the word resource.
2. Human capital
A close cousin to resource, but at least this phrase actually acknowledges that people are different than staplers. The people who spend 40+ hours a week working for a company are more valuable than this term implies. Without PEOPLE — a company cannot survive.
3. Tap
“We’d like to tap your brain for this upcoming project.” Ouch! You mean stick a metal object into my brain to drain out my intellect like I am a maple tree. No thanks, but I am happy to help you with the project.
4. It is what it is
This translates into I have completely given up on trying to solve this problem or I am completely powerless to help. Try listening, talking and coming up with solutions to see if you can change whatever “it is” into something better.
5. Radar screen
“You need to put this on your radar screen.” I don’t have a radar screen. Am I being promoted to an air traffic controller? How much harder could that be than playing Asteroids?
Instead, use “be aware of” or “take note” of the upcoming project.
6. Take it to the next level
“We need to take our deliverables to the next level.” Cool. Apparently, we are playing Super Mario Brothers at work and I didn’t realize it. I will get to the next level and save Princess Toadstool. Instead of this meaningless and overused phrase, outline the goals for the future and how the company is going to get there.
7. Bleeding edge
“There has to be bleeding edge thinking on this project.” This phrase just conjures up an image of a blood covered knife; not what I want to be thinking about if I want to push my thinking forward. How about using “creative thinking” or even “leading edge?” Anything is better than blood in the cubicle.
8. Execute
“How are we going to execute the project?” This overused word brings to mind more violent images and makes me wonder what did the poor project do to deserve this treatment? Try using the simple word “do” instead.
9. Bandwidth or cycles
“I’ll see if she has any bandwidth for these additional duties.” As much as I wish I was HAL 2000 refusing to open the pod bay doors, employees are not computers. Try instead this fantastic word – time. “I’ll see if she has the time for these additional duties.”
10. Sweat the asset
A company that gets every last drop of value out of its resources whether it be a person or machine. When referring to employees, let’s just stop using this phrase, ok? Thanks.
11. Cross pollination
“By bringing together the two teams, we are hoping you can cross-pollinate.” We are getting bees in the office? Isn’t than dangerous? Bees sting.
Oh, you mean — “share ideas.”
12. Flight risk
“I think Joe’s a flight risk.” Have you thought that Joe might be a flight risk because you talk about him like a prisoner? I’d want to quit too if I felt like an inmate at my job.
Rehumanizing dehumaninzing language in the office place is easy — just talk like a human being in plain language that builds relationships rather than demoralizes them.
What do you think? Did I miss any dehumanizing jargon? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.
Featured image courtesy of JD Hancock licensed via Creative Commons.
Dr. Michelle Mazur
http://www.DrMichelleMazur.com
Speech Coach and Presentation Skills Trainer, Dr. Michelle Mazur, guides driven-to-succeed business professionals and independent business owners to ignite the smoldering fire within to speak up, speak out and make their impact — one compelling presentation at a time. Clients get noticed, promoted and paid more by overcoming their reluctance and learning to speak with authenticity and confidence, no matter how big or small their audience. To learn her proven approach to get ready for opportunity now — visit her website..
31 comments
Hey, where is synergy? I guess that one has been dying out. But I always remember the luaghs it brought in "In Good Company".
@susansilver Synergy would have been a great addition to this list. Also out of the box could have been on this list too!
Thanks, Dave (and a Likeable hello to you! :-) RT @DaveKerpen: @alizasherman me thinks @12most is excellent as well :) #12Most
@DaveKerpen Great thanks! I really like @12most - they do a consistently good job with their content. How are thinks @likeable?
Our writers are A+++ :-) RT @alizasherman: @DaveKerpen I really like @12most —they do a consistently good job w/ their content. #12Most
Michelle, this post was made more hysterical by the fact that I hear those words all the time (like you obviously do). And yes, I am guilty of saying "resource". In fact, we have a resource planning meeting every week - and we are not distributing staplers, just people!
Bandwidth is another good one...always looking for more bandwidth, sharing bandwidth, etc.
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@dbvickery I am so guilty of resources. I've said "do we have the resources to do this?" When really I mean "Does Bob have the time to this?" The one that I hear way too much is "tap" - I witnessed a manager once say it 10 times in a 3 minute conversation and in my head I kept thinking "Yeah, I'd like to tap that.". :-)
@Michelle_Mazur Hah, I almost went there, Michelle..."tap" definitely comes with connotations!
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@dbvickery Heh! The woman who was saying it over and over again is in her 50s. I wanted to pull her aside and tell her the urban dictionary definition of the word. Thought it might be awkward!
Maybe the people who say bleeding edge really mean leading edge, like the people who mean specifically say pacifically. Otherwise, I think your taking some of the phrases to seriously.
@momof3and3 No bleeding edge is a term in corporate speak when leading edge is just not cutting enough (excuse the pun). The point of this article is to take this jargon too seriously and literally to show the silliness of it all! It dehumanizes people and makes them feel like things. But then again I am one of those people who strongly agree with the idea that language creates reality. Not everyone feels that way. Thank you for your comment.
@Michelle_Mazur The only jargon that ever REALLy bothered me was several years ago the CEO of the hospital in which I worked decided that patients should be called customers. The implication of which was that patients are consumers and they have a choice of where they obtain their care. I, on the other hand, thought this trivialized their needs since a person seeking care at a hospital had far different needs than someone stepping up to a Clinique counter. I actually considered those needs as "next level." Sorry.
@momof3and3 I'd agree calling patients customers is not a good reality to create. It would bring a new, terrifying meaning to the customer is always right. At the hospital, I want my doctor to be right - s/he is the expert - not me!
I have seen corporate jargon do awful things to company morale which in the end actually ends up hurting the organization its product. It may not bother you personally, but it does bother other people. When people feel like cogs and not individuals who contribute their time, talents, and efforts to the place where they spend 40 hours a week, it is just damaging - to their psyche, morale and their work relationships. My point is that the language reflects a broader organizational culture shift. Just like saying patients are customer changes the culture of a hospital.
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Great list Michelle, I have to say these phrases get thrown around so much most of us probably don't even realize it until we see them on a list like yours. Wow, they are pretty ridiculous aren't they? :) The worst is that when one person in a group starts using the catch phrase I honk it's spreads into a dept wide epidemic ;). Thanks for putting it on my radar :) - sorry couldn't resist!
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That's think ;) not honk! - thanks iPhone ;) now where's that handy edit buttOn livefyre?
Latest blog post: Winning at the Insurance Gamble: Earthquake
@Milaspage They are so ridiculous. They don't even make sense in everyday conversation. Yet business people think it makes them sound smart to use this jargon. Thank you so much for your comment!
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So true, Michelle! A lot of these phrases just put me on edge. I love some of your elegant solutions -- it just goes to show that word choice really does make a difference!
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@annedreshfield Word choice makes such a big difference. It can make someone feel worthwhile and valued or like a robot that no one cares about. If we got rid of the jargon, I really do believe we would have a happier workplace!
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