Trolls abound on the internet. Leaving biting little comments meant to grab attention and engender rage. “You suck and that’s sad” is not criticism or feedback. It does nothing to start a conversation or help. It’s just lame.
Bloggers, authors, speakers, and anyone who does creative work cherishes the criticism and feedback people give. It makes us better at what we do. I like it when I write something that makes people disagree. It makes me think about my own beliefs! The benefits of feedback are tremendous, but only when that criticism is communicated well.
Here are the 12 Most Crucial Tips for Communication Criticism:
Feedback and criticism is not about the person being criticized. It’s about the person giving the critique. It is just one person’s opinion. It reflects one point of view. When giving feedback think about what it says about you? Snide and snotty or helpful and challenging? Whatever the approach, criticism says more about the critic than the person on the receiving end.
The intent of the feedback is to help the other person be better at whatever they are doing. It has soul. It’s meaningful. The intent is not so that the evaluator can say, “Hey, look how smart I am? I got that guy good, huh?”
Criticism needs to be specific. State what you observed and how it made you feel. Avoid sweeping generalizations. Saying “that was the worst video blog ever” is not helpful. What in particular made it the worst? It’s important to state the why behind a snipe otherwise it’s just a gripe!
If you are specific in your feedback, then offer solutions for how the person could improve in the future. This also shows the recipient of the criticism the intent of the feedback and instills good will.
They really don’t need to do anything! “You need to…” implies there is one right way to create art. There is not. Criticism is an opinion.
There is no “we” in criticism! Speaking for a group of people (real or non-existent) is not the way to deliver feedback. Speak for yourself and not the organization. Using the ubiquitous “we” makes the receiver of the feedback feel like people are ganging up on him or her or it makes them wonder who is this we.
The solution for the “you need to” problem or coming down with a case of the “we’s” is using I statements. “I would like to see” or “I would approach it this way” highlights the one voice of the evaluator.
At Toastmasters when we evaluate speeches, we always try to include something positive that the speaker did. Now some people will say that this is sugar coating the criticism, but I think that part of effective feedback is understanding what your strengths are as well as what you need to fix.
Providing positive feedback doesn’t mean you should lie just to have something nice to say. Keep the feedback honest and authentic.
Keep the lines of communication open. Feedback that is thoughtful, focused, and solution oriented usually begets another request for feedback. Be open to the back and forth communication the person on the receiving end will want to have.
Insults, ad homs, snark, sarcasm are NOT helpful. It does nothing to help the other person improve and has no place in constructive criticism.
In case you forgot, it really is all about you. This one idea really changed how I viewed giving criticism. The other person can throw away what I have to say if they don’t agree and that’s ok.
Criticism is awesome. It is sometimes hard to hear, but it is what helps us grow in our chosen field. Growth can be painful just like feedback; however, we can’t get better if we don’t know there is a problem.
Do you have any tips for delivering constructive criticism? How about a shining example of someone who delivers feedback well? Speak up and share your thoughts!
Featured image courtesy of Cali4beach via Creative Commons.
http://www.DrMichelleMazur.com
Speech Coach and Presentation Skills Trainer, Dr. Michelle Mazur, guides driven-to-succeed business professionals and independent business owners to ignite the smoldering fire within to speak up, speak out and make their impact — one compelling presentation at a time. Clients get noticed, promoted and paid more by overcoming their reluctance and learning to speak with authenticity and confidence, no matter how big or small their audience. To learn her proven approach to get ready for opportunity now — visit her website..
@Michelle_Mazur I'm having a super positive week, Michelle! Hope you are too! When I'm on Twitter, everyone is in my sparkle blue background
@pegfitzpatrick I am Peggy. It's been a good week. Wrote a lot and made progress on building my business. All good!
@pegfitzpatrick It will be part work - part relaxation. We are heading to Vegas next week! Woot!
@Michelle_Mazur Cheers for a fab week, Michelle! Hope it transitions to a relaxing weekend.
I loved #1, Michelle. In fact, I always made the following distinction: Criticism=BAD, Critiquing=GOOD. It's all in the delivery...
#5 is a great point, and I think as team members/executives/parents, it is a maturing process to avoid saying "you need to". I like the "lead with a question" approach which doesn't put the person receiving feedback immediately on the defensive. I totally agree that you should convey positives during any critiquing session.
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@dbvickery Yes exactly - critiquing and criticism are very different. If we keep that in mind, then we are good to go.
I had some parents read my post and reply "man, I always say you need to with my kids". Getting that phrase out of our vocabularies can be difficult!
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Constructive criticism is a great thing. When done properly (with your great tips) it can help someone grow and learn and see things in a different perspective. You hit the keys of being honest, respectful, and speaking from the heart. Great article Michelle.
@reneedobbs Thanks Renee! I agree criticism and feedback is how we grow as people, in our jobs and in our personal lives. I think people sometimes are afraid at getting criticism because they have been burned by non-constructive criticism in the past. It is all about the delivery and the intent!
