12 Most Bro-tastic Quotes from Barney Stinson

12 Most Bro-tastic Quotes from Barney Stinson

It’s time to suit up! Today’s 12 Most post is going to be legend… wait for it… …dary. So, do your best to follow along as Barney Stinson of the hit TV show How I Met Your Mother gives us all a little glimpse of what it means to be awesome. Don’t look directly into the light. True story.

1. “Oh right, because there can be too many of something wonderful. Hey Babe Ruth, easy big fella, let’s not hit too many homers. Hey Steve Gutenberg, maybe just make three Police Academy movies. America’s laughed enough.”

2. “Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro — I’m Broda!”

3. “Okay, pep talk! You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can’t. You’re way out of practice and she’s way too hot for you. So, remember, it’s not about scoring. It’s about believing you can do it, even though you probably can’t. Go get ’em, tiger!”

4. “Let me tell you about a little thing I like to call ‘mind over body’… you see, whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead.”

5. “Here’s the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life.”

6. “Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn’t have even heard he died. They’d be all, ‘Hey Jesus, what up?’ and Jesus would probably be like, ‘What up? I died yesterday!’ and they’d be all, ‘Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude…’ and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude’d be like ‘Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro…’ And he’s not gonna come back on a Saturday. Everybody’s busy, doing chores, workin’ the loom, trimmin’ the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, three. Plus it’s Sunday, so everyone’s in church already, and they’re all in there like ‘Oh no, Jesus is dead,’ and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin’ up the aisle, everyone’s totally psyched, and FYI, that’s when he invented the high five. That’s why we wait three days to call a woman, because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story.”

7. “Relapse high-five! That’s where we high five, then it gets awkward for a bit, and then we high five again.”

8. “It’s gonna be legend… wait for it… and I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!”

9. “I’m going out of this world the same way I came into it, buck naked. Yeah. Gonna be awesome. Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies. What up?!?”

10. “When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.”

11. “A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.”

12. “In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland.”

When you are as awesome as Barney, the rules don’t apply. Here is number 13…

13. “God, it’s me, Barney. What up? I know we don’t talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.”

Featured image courtesy of Enokson licensed via Creative Commons.

Marc Ensign


I should warn you. I am not a Guru, Jedi, Rock Star or a Ninja. I'm just a guy that knows an awful lot about a bunch of stuff and I like to tell stories about it on my blog. I tend to write mostly about social media, Internet Marketing, SEO, blogging, life, business and the fuzzy stuff in between your toes. I think my stuff is really good. You'll like it…trust me. You should really check it out otherwise I might be highly offended.

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