You’d never guess by reading this post, but I enjoy driving — I figure I’ve logged more than 1 million miles all over the U.S. and Canada, and a respectable number of kilometers in Europe.
Unfortunately, not everyone takes driving seriously. Dysfunctional drivers are annoying at best, dangerous at worst. Here are 12 horrible driving habits that drive me crazy. The worst of the worst behaviors that put odor in the odometer and piss in the pistons.
Creatures from outer space may have the ability to text and drive, but humans do not. And yet every day we see more drivers staring at their smartphones rather than oncoming traffic, mindlessly tapping away instead of mindfully tending to business. Penalties for text driving should be just as severe as those for drunk driving.
When you’re behind a car that turns with no notice, you’d better be paying attention or you’ll wind up in a fender-bender or worse. When drivers fail to use turn signals, they’re putting all the burden on us. This is childish because it shows a lack of accountability and stupid because the assumption that the other driver is paying attention is, alas in this day and age, a faulty one.
When certain drivers get into their neighborhoods, they think the rules of the road no longer apply. They stop in the middle of the street to chat with neighbors or talk over dinner arrangements with their kids playing on the sidewalk. They careen over to the left side of the street to check their mailbox. They forget that most accidents happen near home… and they are the reason why.
They putter along at 10, 20, or 30 miles an hour under the speed limit. They unexpectedly start and stop. They halt at an intersection and ponder the possibilities. Being in the vicinity of the lost and clueless means you better have solid bumpers and auto insurance. One is forced to wonder why these people don’t pull off and get their directional act together instead of turning the roadway into a decidedly unentertaining version of improvisational theater.
When you turn right, turn tight. Don’t swing out to the left before the turn, because you’re just asking for someone to bash into the passenger side of your vehicle. It’s elementary driving technique, for heaven’s sake.
Speaking of elementary, when exactly did people forget how to make a left turn at a traffic light? You’re supposed to pull halfway into the intersection so that you can make your turn and, depending on oncoming traffic, enable drivers behind you to do the same. Nowadays, people don’t pull into the intersection at all — figuring they’ll wait for the turn arrow on the next cycle, if they’re figuring at all.
While turn fumblers are mainly annoying, red light runners are the most lethal people on the road next to drunk drivers. In a crazed desire to save a minute or two at a stoplight, they barrel through an intersection putting their lives and the lives of who knows how many others at grave risk. It’s insane, and it’s a growing problem in my area.
Question: Can drivers focus on the road with a litter of lap dogs scampering up the dashboard, licking their chins, and peeing on the floor mats? Answer: No.
The varieties are vexing and voluminous: the parallel parker who is 45 degrees off parallel; the selfish pig who intentionally hogs two spots so nobody dings his precious piglet car; the narcissist buffoon who stops in front of the door at Starbucks because the parking spaces 10 feet away are too remote; the pull-in parker who parks on the line instead of between the lines; and of course the parallel parker who takes 10 minutes to finish the job and still bumps into the vehicles in front and behind him or her. This sort of parking must come to a stop.
Behind the wheel is a bad place to showcase your generous spirit. When you have the right of way, don’t stop out of the blue to let someone out of a parking lot. All you do is confuse everyone in the vicinity and set the stage for a multi-car pileup. If you want to pile up good deeds, there are better and safer ways.
Did you ever see somebody behind the wheel shaving or brushing his teeth? I have. I’ve also seen drivers roaring down Interstate highways eating watermelon, putting on makeup, adjusting wigs, eating salad and smoking a cigarette at the same time, and, I swear to God, playing a trumpet. This sort of behavior will never get you to NASCAR, but should get you to NOCAR.
Earth to left lane lingerer: The left lane is for passing slower-moving vehicles. You don’t drive in the left lane for any other reason. You cause traffic backups. You inspire drivers to pass on the right or tailgate. You have serious awareness, ego, or stupidity issues. You don’t belong behind the wheel. In short, move the hell over.
These 12 habits were culled from a master list of about 100, so there are many, many more. What driving habits infuriate you? What do other drivers do that makes you want to rip out your steering wheel and hit them over the head with it? What types of weird multitasking have you seen people do while behind the wheel?
Featured image courtesy of Caitlinator licensed via Creative Commons.
Brad Shorr is Director of B2B Marketing for Straight North, a full service Internet marketing agency. A blogger since 2005, he writes frequently on social media, content marketing, SEO and business strategy.
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While I agree with you on pretty much all of these, you are incorrect on #6. Oh, this is the way I learned to drive, too, but according to any defensive driving instructor I've talked to (hush, don't ask) that is NOT really legal. You stop behind the crosswalk (if there is one) or at the line - you don't pull halfway into the intersection. Don't take my word for it - ask. But do let me know what you find out. :)
So I guess one message is what we've know all along which is you are legally responsible for the front of your car. In other words, it's your responsibility to maintain the recommended following distance between yours and the car in front of you. Unless, of course, they back up into you. That being said, I can say that I'm supremely guilty of not using my turn signal. My only defense is that I am a victim of having lived and commuted through the New York City Metro area for several years having lived just above the City limits and commuting through The Bronx, the upper tip of Manhattan, and Queens to my job at the far end of Queens. Then I moved to Brooklyn and commuted through most of Brooklyn to the same job at the eastern end of Queens. Easily an hour every day on the highways. My experience was that INVARIABLY, if I was trying to merge into the next lane or onto the highway from an on-ramp and I put on my turn signal, the person next to me would speed up to close the gap. INVARIABLY! So I quickly learned that if I wanted to enter the highway or change lanes the worst thing to do was to put on my turn signal. Sorry, I'm a victim of my environment.
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All good points! My only addition are the folks on interstate highways who while driving in the far left lane suddenly decide to take the exit 3, 4 or 5 lanes over.
@Yvonne Root Good one. We don't have that problem in Chicago because none of our expressways is more than 2 two lanes wide. :)
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Those 12 plus these two:
Surge to Merge: These folks do not pay attention to the "this lane ends" sign until they are right where the lane ends.
Ramp Racers: Similar to the Surge to Merge folks, Ramp Racers don't want to let traffic in from the off ramp. So you end up with a bunch of people who are speeding up to merge into traffic and have maybe 10 feet to do it.
Pay attention, people!
@heidithorne You're SUPPOSED to merge right where the lane ends! It's called the zipper and if everyone would do it correctly it would cause LESS traffic. fyi
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I'm embarrassed to admit how many of these I do. :/
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The Reversed Turn-Off
When exiting the roadway in a turn off lane, rather than signal-change lane-brake, they choose brake-lane change- and then (optionally) signal
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You forgot The Scaredy Cat.
The driver who, when traffic comes to a stop, is stopped 1-2 car length's behind the car in front of them, apparently afraid of some sudden psychopathic reverse motion from the driver in front of them. These same drivers can also be seen stopping the same distance behind the indicated red-light stopping position, usually just far enough back to avoid tripping the traffic light sensor, and apparently in fear of somebody who might suddenly decide to drive into a stopped traffic lane
@SteelToad Good one! We have tons of them in our area. The older I get, the more fearful I become of turning into one ...
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This is fun. You hit the key bad habits. I respectfully add a couple more. Well, more than a couple. They come from living in an area with narrow streets & parking on both sides. 1. People who can't drive their cars around a sharp turn without crossing the double yellow line & cramming the driver in the opposing lane against the far side parking lane. 2. Wallowing turns generally, which you do mention. 3. Driving down the middle of a narrow street so that the driver in the other lane has to stop or cram against parked cars in his lane. 4. Running stop signs (this applies to bicycle drivers as well) 5. Failing to stop for a pedestrian in a marked crossing. This kills people. Enough!
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I was in traffic and saw someone with the newspaper spread across the steering wheel. I could not believe that one! Also spotted in Boston - someone playing the trumpet. Seriously.
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Lots more examples of good Samaritans. How about the ones who yield the right of way when YOU have the stop sign and they don't?
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I live in LA. It's torture driving here.
Last summer my son's (parked) car was totalled by a 16 year old girl who was texting. She'd been driving for 5 days. Thankfully she wasn't hurt, but it was terrifying hearing her car screech and slam into his car in front of our house. #1 is by far the worst thing a driver can do. I don't normally share blog posts in comments but this is my post about our experience: http://www.emptyhousefullmind.com/texting-and-driving-a-personal-story/
@sharongreenthal Frightening. Thank you for sharing this story. We can't hammer home the danger of distracted driving. Some of the material in my post is lighthearted, but this is an issue that has no humorous side at all.
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I can relate to the trumpet player, although I've only done it a couple of times (it's kind of bumpy in the car), and only on wide open highways on long drives.
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Well, Brad — you beat me to this post because this is one I’ve been toying with for a long time. Funny thing is, you hit most of the same pet peeves that get my road rage rockin’ too! :-)
One important addition: the people who don’t pull into the intersection when waiting to make a left turn. They hang back, and only when the light is turning do they pull up and finally turn — trapping the rest of us who are also waiting to turn back at another red light and another long wait!
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@PaulBiedermann Paul, sorry for stealing your thunder, but i bet you could come up with 12 more ... at least. A couple of bad left turn people got in front of me just the other day and forced me to go through three light cycles that should have been one. GRR.
