12 Most Important Ways To Waste Your Time
If you’re like most people, you created a list of resolutions for this year: lose weight, work out, eat healthier, stop smoking. All good, important things to do.
Which most people don’t do. Not that they don’t have the best of intentions, but sometimes it’s just easier to eat a spoonful of Nutella for dinner than make a salad (okay, it’s always easier).
So… given that making resolutions you won’t keep is incredibly common among humans, let’s review a few more ways to waste your time this year:
1. Watching TV
Listen, I learn more each day from Big Bang Theory than I ever did from my high school geometry teacher. I encourage you to veg out in front of the TV each day, if for no other reason than to learn important crap you’ll never use in real life until you go to a party and play a trivia game and then you win and you’ll thank me.
2. Play video games
We’re probably one of the few homes in the U.S. that doesn’t have some sort of game console. But I’ve given up controlling my kids playing age-appropriate video games because they have iPads and to be honest, I’m pretty sure my seven-year-old is learning more spelling words in Scribblenauts than he does at school.
It’s like making resolutions: good for a week or so and then it’s downhill from there. I’m one of those weird folks who loves to organize, so this one really bugs me — but as I approach fifty, I’ve realized there is just too much detritus in life to worry about keeping it all at bay. Let it snow. (Of course, I’ll still do it anyway)
I’m a writer, and most all of my writing classes have insisted writers outline our works, even teaching us fancy flow charts and complicated processes with arrows and such. As I’ve just released my third book (not humor this time), I’ve realized that doesn’t work. For me. Maybe I pre-write in my head (as most writers do), but all that outlining takes away from the spontaneity of letting the words flow. Besides, it’s kinda nerdy. But if it works for you, I get that. Can I call you Sheldon, though?
Isn’t it fun? Being stuck in traffic every single day for the rest of your life? Actually, I don’t do it anymore so you can hate on me now. But I did, for over fifteen years — as a pharma rep and trainer, I was on the road constantly. I don’t miss it. But if you do it, here’s my advice: crank the tunes. I’m convinced I became a fan of sardonic musical artist Poe during my commutes.
6. Waiting in lines
Humans are an impatient race. We want what we want and we want it now. Waiting builds character or some such B.S., right? I say, buy yourself a smartphone and read books in line. That’s what I do.
7. Social media
I personally don’t feel social is a waste of time for anyone who wants to sell a product or service, create an online presence, or improve their Google ranking. Social is my other business (besides writing books), so for me it’s essential. That said, I schedule in quite a bit as well as interacting live. If you find yourself constantly checking to see if anyone has retweeted or shared your latest insanely brilliant quip, it’s time for a little break. Or forget it — you know you’re gonna check anyway.
8. Grammar police
People are going to mispell a lot and end their sentences with a preposition… kinda like Yoda does. Is it your job to correct them? No, but you’ll do it anyway because it drives you insane.
9. Spam your own links
Go ahead — knock yourself out! People will ignore and unfollow you, as well as not buy your “whatever,” but it’s worth the effort to annoy the heck out of them.
10. Discuss politics or religion on social media
While there cannot be two more polarizing topics, and I personally don’t engage in them, plenty of people do. Why not? The worst that can happen is you’ll lose followers, waste your time and patience, and risk losing your temper and freaking out on total strangers. A win/win, right?
11. Argue about the merits of self-publishing
For many, self-publishing has become a lifeline and has lost its initial stigma that all self-published books are terrible. But don’t give in: be like the traditionalists who insist it’s the easy way out, that self-published authors make no money and that their books are creating a dismal future for readers. And by all means, don’t read or support any self-published authors. That would be terrible.
The most colossal waste of time ever, right? Hours spent sitting and doing nothing but learning and using your brain. Why, God, why?
I could write more, but I’ll probably just be wasting your time.
Featured image courtesy of meddygarnet licensed via Creative Commons.